While some forms of extremely strict parenting include physical abuse, there are two often unnoticed parenting behaviors that provoke some of the most emotionally degrading and intellectually isolating environments for children. These environments stem from parenting involving unhealthy eating patterns and manipulation associated with ostentatious religious beliefs (Kirkwood, 2011; Bottoms et al. 2015). There are several risk factors and forms of emotional abuse that take place in each of these household practices.
A broad spectrum of unhealthy eating patterns can be observed in the everyday family setting. Parents are key to setting proper examples of feeding and nutrition in families, as they serve as role models and providers for their children (Savage et al., 2011). For example, if children are exposed to an unhealthy parental diet composed of excessive alcohol consumption and dining out, kids are likely to follow a similar pattern of erratic, harmful eating habits. Through modeling, parental consumption of large amounts of non-nutritious food encourages children to do the same (Savage et al., 2011). For example, when parents regularly take their children out to eat at a restaurant instead of focusing on educating their children on home cooked, nutritious meals, one might imagine how children begin to incorrectly categorize nutritional information. Unhealthy eating patterns in childhood can lead to eating disorders and cognitive dysfunction, and these patterns are heavily influenced by childhood nutrition education.
In addition, high levels of emotional eating in parents can lead to increased emotional eating in their children (Snoek et al., 2007). Emotional eating occurs when someone eats to suppress unwanted emotions. These emotions can include anxiety, anger, fear, sadness, or any other negative emotions experienced by a parent or child; parents can easily model this behavior if they consistently demonstrate emotional eating habits. This behavior is a risk factor for their children developing poor eating habits later in life, in addition to other psychological conditions like anxiety and depression (Snoek et al., 2007). Access to affordable, healthy foods should be considered in a separate paper, as unfortunately, ideal nutritional practices are not a choice some parents can make when they are simply trying to feed their children and themselves.
On the other end of the spectrum, parents encouraging extremely restrictive eating practices may do more harm than good for their children (Savage et al., 2011). Creating “forbidden” foods, as described in the article by Savage, Fischer, and Birch, can create an emotional habit of overeating in children and lack of hunger when these foods finally become present (Savage et al., 2011). Parental control in these situations becomes so extreme that childrens’ negative emotions and feelings, such as anxiety or fear, can be brought out merely through the sight of a forbidden or highly-regulated food (Savage et al., 2011; Scaglioni, 2008). Children who are unable to eat properly due to anxiety about food consumption will inevitably continue to suffer from emotional distress.
When considering religion’s impact on emotional development in children, a home dominated by religion, in and of itself, is not necessarily a risk factor for psychopathology. Here, psychopathology is a general term describing the development of abnormal mental states, cognition, and behavior. A religious group can help children feel like they have a sense of belonging and community. Religion itself is not a problem, but when parents use religion to justify emotional abuse, children suffer, particularly in their emotional development. There are many parents who create an abusive environment for their kids through a religious, higher-power based approach to education, church, and their general company.
When children are taught that a higher figure is to blame for poor rules and emotional abuse occurring in the house, children are likely unable to set emotional boundaries with their parents. Emotional boundaries in children may look like the ability to say no to a parent, expecting respect of opinion and boundaries from a parent, or the ability to properly communicate negative feelings to a parent. This often creates conflict issues between children and their parents, as well as parents who put their subjective religious opinions over objective knowledge. Conflict issues between a parent and child might include poor communication, confrontation avoidance, and disagreements about values.
Sadly, parents with deeply ingrained religious beliefs use religion to justify their manipulation and emotional abuse towards their children (Simonic et al., 2013). As far as the effects on emotional development from this abuse go, many children feel excessive amounts of shame from actions that they believe will beget divine punishment, as their parents have taught them. They also often experience denial of normal and healthy feelings, words, and behaviors (Simonic et al., 2013). One form of this manipulation can come from the emotional abuse consisting of isolation from the world (Kirkwood, 2011; Bottoms et al. 2015). Forms of this could be homeschooling, isolated media sources, or financial manipulation to keep children under the domination of their parents’ religion (West, 2009). When parents place religious restrictions on their children’s social, educational, and home environments, they automatically create a space that inhibits relational, cognitive, and emotional growth (Simonic et al., 2013). Dangerous neuronal pathways begin to form as a result of the anxiety-driven, psychologically traumatic religious extremes that come along with corrupt parental influence and strictness. These pathways likely include the dysregulation of anxiety and fear circuits, in addition to excess stress hormone (cortisol) release.
The emotional problems caused by extreme religious parenting create a domino effect, beginning with emotional damage in childhood and continuing with mental and emotional disorders in adulthood (Simonic et al., 2013; Alsarhi et al., 2019; Kirkwood, 2011). However, all religions cannot be directly compared to one another due to differing cultural values, scriptural interpretations, and practices. For example, some studies in Christianity have demonstrated that conservative Protestant Christian parents support and carry out more harsh parenting practices than Christians who are less conservative (Alsarhi et al., 2019; Hoffmann et al., 2019). A limitation of this paper is the fact that the variations in religion have not been thoroughly studied in low-income families and families with non-Western backgrounds.
Parents who exhibit unhealthy eating habits, along with parents who recklessly and pretentiously use religious parenting traditions to manipulate their offspring, are causing drastic damage to their childrens’ emotional well-being. While there are many forms of parenting that can be threatening to mental health in children, these two have the potential to cause–and have already caused, for that matter–permanent trauma in children.
About the Author
Bailey Salimes is a senior at Boston University concentrating in Neuroscience and Psychology.
References
Alsarhi, K., Rahma, Prevoo, M., Alink, L., & Mesman, J. (2019). Maternal Harsh Physical Parenting and Behavioral Problems in Children in Religious Families in Yemen. International journal of environmental research and public health, 16(9), 1485. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph16091485
Bent-Goodley, T. B., & Fowler, D. N. (2006). Spiritual and Religious Abuse: Expanding What is Known About Domestic Violence. Affilia, 21(3), 282–295. https://doi.org/10.1177/0886109906288901
Bottoms, B. L., Goodman, G. S., Tolou-Shams, M., Diviak, K. R., & Shaver, P. R. (2015). Religion-related child maltreatment: profile of cases encountered by legal and social service agencies. Behavioral Sciences & the Law, 33(4), 561-579.
Hoffmann, J. P., Ellison, C. G., & Bartkowski, J. P. (2017). Conservative Protestantism and attitudes toward corporal punishment, 1986-2014. Social science research, 63, 81–94. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ssresearch.2016.09.010
Kirkwood, M. (2011). Between two worlds: children raised in strict religious communities: Marjory Kirkwood draws on her own experiences to discuss how mental health practitioners should form therapeutic relationships with families with 'alternative' belief systems. Mental Health Practice, 15(3), 30+. https://link.gale.com/apps/doc/A272363740/AONE?u=mlin_b_bumml&sid=bookmark-AONE&xid=92c53199
Savage, J. S., Fisher, J. O., & Birch, L. L. (2007). Parental influence on eating behavior: conception to adolescence. The Journal of law, medicine & ethics: a journal of the American Society of Law, Medicine & Ethics, 35(1), 22–34. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1748-720X.2007.00111.x
Scaglioni, S., Salvioni, M., & Galimberti, C. (2008). Influence of parental attitudes in the development of children eating behaviour. British Journal of Nutrition, 99(S1), S22-S25. doi:10.1017/S0007114508892471
Simonic, B., Mandelj, T. R., & Novsak, R. (2013). Religious-related abuse in the family. Journal of Family Violence, 28(4), 339-349. doi:http://dx.doi.org/10.1007/s10896-013-9508-y
Snoek, H.M., Engels, R.C., Janssens, J.M., & van Strien, T. (2007). Parental behavior and adolescents’ emotional eating. Appetite, 49(1), 223-230.
Wardle, J. (1995). Parental influences on children's diets. Proceedings of the Nutrition Society, 54(3), 747-758. doi:10.1079/PNS19950074
West, R. L. (2009). The Harms of Homeschooling. Philosophy & Public Policy Quarterly, 29(3/4), 7–12.
A broad spectrum of unhealthy eating patterns can be observed in the everyday family setting. Parents are key to setting proper examples of feeding and nutrition in families, as they serve as role models and providers for their children (Savage et al., 2011). For example, if children are exposed to an unhealthy parental diet composed of excessive alcohol consumption and dining out, kids are likely to follow a similar pattern of erratic, harmful eating habits. Through modeling, parental consumption of large amounts of non-nutritious food encourages children to do the same (Savage et al., 2011). For example, when parents regularly take their children out to eat at a restaurant instead of focusing on educating their children on home cooked, nutritious meals, one might imagine how children begin to incorrectly categorize nutritional information. Unhealthy eating patterns in childhood can lead to eating disorders and cognitive dysfunction, and these patterns are heavily influenced by childhood nutrition education.
In addition, high levels of emotional eating in parents can lead to increased emotional eating in their children (Snoek et al., 2007). Emotional eating occurs when someone eats to suppress unwanted emotions. These emotions can include anxiety, anger, fear, sadness, or any other negative emotions experienced by a parent or child; parents can easily model this behavior if they consistently demonstrate emotional eating habits. This behavior is a risk factor for their children developing poor eating habits later in life, in addition to other psychological conditions like anxiety and depression (Snoek et al., 2007). Access to affordable, healthy foods should be considered in a separate paper, as unfortunately, ideal nutritional practices are not a choice some parents can make when they are simply trying to feed their children and themselves.
On the other end of the spectrum, parents encouraging extremely restrictive eating practices may do more harm than good for their children (Savage et al., 2011). Creating “forbidden” foods, as described in the article by Savage, Fischer, and Birch, can create an emotional habit of overeating in children and lack of hunger when these foods finally become present (Savage et al., 2011). Parental control in these situations becomes so extreme that childrens’ negative emotions and feelings, such as anxiety or fear, can be brought out merely through the sight of a forbidden or highly-regulated food (Savage et al., 2011; Scaglioni, 2008). Children who are unable to eat properly due to anxiety about food consumption will inevitably continue to suffer from emotional distress.
When considering religion’s impact on emotional development in children, a home dominated by religion, in and of itself, is not necessarily a risk factor for psychopathology. Here, psychopathology is a general term describing the development of abnormal mental states, cognition, and behavior. A religious group can help children feel like they have a sense of belonging and community. Religion itself is not a problem, but when parents use religion to justify emotional abuse, children suffer, particularly in their emotional development. There are many parents who create an abusive environment for their kids through a religious, higher-power based approach to education, church, and their general company.
When children are taught that a higher figure is to blame for poor rules and emotional abuse occurring in the house, children are likely unable to set emotional boundaries with their parents. Emotional boundaries in children may look like the ability to say no to a parent, expecting respect of opinion and boundaries from a parent, or the ability to properly communicate negative feelings to a parent. This often creates conflict issues between children and their parents, as well as parents who put their subjective religious opinions over objective knowledge. Conflict issues between a parent and child might include poor communication, confrontation avoidance, and disagreements about values.
Sadly, parents with deeply ingrained religious beliefs use religion to justify their manipulation and emotional abuse towards their children (Simonic et al., 2013). As far as the effects on emotional development from this abuse go, many children feel excessive amounts of shame from actions that they believe will beget divine punishment, as their parents have taught them. They also often experience denial of normal and healthy feelings, words, and behaviors (Simonic et al., 2013). One form of this manipulation can come from the emotional abuse consisting of isolation from the world (Kirkwood, 2011; Bottoms et al. 2015). Forms of this could be homeschooling, isolated media sources, or financial manipulation to keep children under the domination of their parents’ religion (West, 2009). When parents place religious restrictions on their children’s social, educational, and home environments, they automatically create a space that inhibits relational, cognitive, and emotional growth (Simonic et al., 2013). Dangerous neuronal pathways begin to form as a result of the anxiety-driven, psychologically traumatic religious extremes that come along with corrupt parental influence and strictness. These pathways likely include the dysregulation of anxiety and fear circuits, in addition to excess stress hormone (cortisol) release.
The emotional problems caused by extreme religious parenting create a domino effect, beginning with emotional damage in childhood and continuing with mental and emotional disorders in adulthood (Simonic et al., 2013; Alsarhi et al., 2019; Kirkwood, 2011). However, all religions cannot be directly compared to one another due to differing cultural values, scriptural interpretations, and practices. For example, some studies in Christianity have demonstrated that conservative Protestant Christian parents support and carry out more harsh parenting practices than Christians who are less conservative (Alsarhi et al., 2019; Hoffmann et al., 2019). A limitation of this paper is the fact that the variations in religion have not been thoroughly studied in low-income families and families with non-Western backgrounds.
Parents who exhibit unhealthy eating habits, along with parents who recklessly and pretentiously use religious parenting traditions to manipulate their offspring, are causing drastic damage to their childrens’ emotional well-being. While there are many forms of parenting that can be threatening to mental health in children, these two have the potential to cause–and have already caused, for that matter–permanent trauma in children.
About the Author
Bailey Salimes is a senior at Boston University concentrating in Neuroscience and Psychology.
References
Alsarhi, K., Rahma, Prevoo, M., Alink, L., & Mesman, J. (2019). Maternal Harsh Physical Parenting and Behavioral Problems in Children in Religious Families in Yemen. International journal of environmental research and public health, 16(9), 1485. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph16091485
Bent-Goodley, T. B., & Fowler, D. N. (2006). Spiritual and Religious Abuse: Expanding What is Known About Domestic Violence. Affilia, 21(3), 282–295. https://doi.org/10.1177/0886109906288901
Bottoms, B. L., Goodman, G. S., Tolou-Shams, M., Diviak, K. R., & Shaver, P. R. (2015). Religion-related child maltreatment: profile of cases encountered by legal and social service agencies. Behavioral Sciences & the Law, 33(4), 561-579.
Hoffmann, J. P., Ellison, C. G., & Bartkowski, J. P. (2017). Conservative Protestantism and attitudes toward corporal punishment, 1986-2014. Social science research, 63, 81–94. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ssresearch.2016.09.010
Kirkwood, M. (2011). Between two worlds: children raised in strict religious communities: Marjory Kirkwood draws on her own experiences to discuss how mental health practitioners should form therapeutic relationships with families with 'alternative' belief systems. Mental Health Practice, 15(3), 30+. https://link.gale.com/apps/doc/A272363740/AONE?u=mlin_b_bumml&sid=bookmark-AONE&xid=92c53199
Savage, J. S., Fisher, J. O., & Birch, L. L. (2007). Parental influence on eating behavior: conception to adolescence. The Journal of law, medicine & ethics: a journal of the American Society of Law, Medicine & Ethics, 35(1), 22–34. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1748-720X.2007.00111.x
Scaglioni, S., Salvioni, M., & Galimberti, C. (2008). Influence of parental attitudes in the development of children eating behaviour. British Journal of Nutrition, 99(S1), S22-S25. doi:10.1017/S0007114508892471
Simonic, B., Mandelj, T. R., & Novsak, R. (2013). Religious-related abuse in the family. Journal of Family Violence, 28(4), 339-349. doi:http://dx.doi.org/10.1007/s10896-013-9508-y
Snoek, H.M., Engels, R.C., Janssens, J.M., & van Strien, T. (2007). Parental behavior and adolescents’ emotional eating. Appetite, 49(1), 223-230.
Wardle, J. (1995). Parental influences on children's diets. Proceedings of the Nutrition Society, 54(3), 747-758. doi:10.1079/PNS19950074
West, R. L. (2009). The Harms of Homeschooling. Philosophy & Public Policy Quarterly, 29(3/4), 7–12.